In the literal sense... I know what you're thinking dirty minds. Every student abroad student staying in Paris over 3 months is required to have a medical examination. The OFII has never been nice or easy to us clueless American students. First, don't even let me begin with the Visa process. talk about hell on earth. Acquiring a Visa takes time and lots and lots of money. Then upon your arrival in Paris, you have to succumb yourself to a medical examination in the hands of French doctors and pay $80 for a "stamp" that goes somewhere. The stereotype falls true when you find yourself in the immigration medical building (or at least that's what I'm calling it). The medical exam tests to see if you're well enough to stay in France- they check your lungs, vision, weight, height, blood pressure, etc etc. Upon arriving, there was a long queue formed by immigrants. It sort of felt like I was arriving on Ellis Island if it were in the middle of Paris in a dinky building in the year 2011. We arrived having heard two rumors: the process could take 2-3 hours and you have to be naked. Okay, I don't fancy going to hospitals in the first place, but when they ask me strip is just whole other problem all together. My name was first to be called out of our group of 20 or so from Madison/Milwaukee. Therefore, I was the first to finish and everyone who saw the tattered look drawn on my face probably got scared. Kind of like the times when you were a child waiting for a shot and then becoming swollen with fear from the screams in the opposite room. However, it wasn't
so bad because it was short.
When they called my name, they gave me a quick look over- vision, weight, height- no scares there. Then they directed me to a tiny room with two doors. It kind of looked like a Gap changing room, but instead of trying on clothes, I had to take all of mine off. My first French doctor told me to wait in the room for the lady on the other side and remain topless. I started to panic because it was all happening so fast but I gave the room a quick look and saw that there wasn't a drape like in American hospital rooms to keep your modesty intact, so I asked for one but the lady ignored my requests for decency and told me to get naked. Alright then, I usually don't like taking my top off for someone whom I don't know their first name, but I sucked it up and went Brazilian. The door on the other side swung open without warning and one doctor saw me awkwardly missing some clothes due north and said something in quick incomprehensible French and returned back into her room. I peeked my head out and heard talking and saw machines... Who is on the other side? Is there a boy present? Are there other patients around? What the hell am I doing!??! So I said in nervous French "I'm ready" after I made sure I was stepping into the right room I was about to give a peep show in. The (female) doctor lead me to the X-ray sheet and she pressed me against the screen. It kind of hurt and I felt really peculiar in this pose where she made me hug the screen (topless), point my chin up (topless), and wait for 20 seconds (topless). But then it was over. She told me to go back in my room and then she locked the door behind her. So I was back in this what I-wished-to-be-Gap room and I was left clueless. How do I leave? Am I locked in? I tried the other door and it was open so I left apprehensively and made my escape. That's when my classmates saw my "i've just been exposed/violated" face and probably got really excited to have their turn. Afterwards, we were called into another room with another doctor and here they took our blood pressure and checked our heart beats. Since I had a curious older man I felt like I was recreating the Amelie scene where her father checks her rapidly beating heart and therefore determines that she has a heart defect. He ended that appointment by handing me back the X-ray of my lungs. Well, I guess this was worth taking off my top for.
All in all, I'm happy to be healthy by the French standards. I just think the OFII medical process could be tremendously improved. My friend Zoe waited 4 hours to complete her exam, whereas I was there for less than two hours. Not quite fair. Get your stuff together, France!
